Masturbation May: Your Complete Guide to Solo Sex

Solo sex is frequently treated as a consolation prize - something you do when a partner isn't available. This is, in my expert opinion, an abject failure of imagination.

Masturbation is the arguably, the most reliable route to understanding your own body and the most direct path to better partnered sex. It is a genuinely effective tool for stress relief, sleep, and mood. Research consistently links regular masturbation with improved sexual confidence, better orgasms, and greater self-awareness.

The people who know what they like tend to be considerably better in bed. And do you know WHY they know what they like? Because they practiced alone. 

Practicing along doesn't require a performance. No one is watching (unless you are into that). You can take fourty-five minutes, change direction seventeen times, mix toys up, wipe lube off and reapply - and make absolutely NO effort to look good doing it. That is an underrated freedom. Enjoy it. 

The clitoris is the only organ in the human body designed exclusively for pleasure. It contains roughly 8,000 nerve endings - more than twice as many as the penis - and most of its structure is internal, extending into the body like a wishbone around the vaginal canal. It is amazing.

What's visible externally is just the tip. The majority of vulva owners orgasm through clitoral stimulation, not penetration. The clitoral glans sits above the vaginal opening and is most easily reached with fingers, a vibrator, or a pressure toy applied to the external vulva.

Most people find direct contact with the glans itself too intense and prefer stimulation through the hood or along the sides. Different strokes, for different folks, as they say.

Circular motion, rhythmic pressure and varying speed all work - the point is to find what YOUR specific body responds to rather than following a universal script. Use your body as a guide, listen well, and it will eventually become a fine-tuned instrument for orgasmic pleasure and relase.

Vibrators are where most people start, and many people stay. And thats fine.

Bullet vibrators, wand massagers, and clitoral suction toys all approach the same geography - just differently. 

Suction toys in particular - which use air pressure pulsations rather than vibration - produce a sensation that many people describe as closer to oral sex than anything else in the toy world. These have become an sex shop sensation over the past decade - and are worldwide, internationally recognised, best-sellers.

 If you haven't tried one, Masturbation May is the month to fix that.

The G-spot sits on the anterior wall of the vagina - the wall closest to your stomach - roughly five to eight centimetres inside. It's not a distinct anatomical structure so much as a region of tissue that, for most people, responds intensely to firm, consistent pressure when aroused. 

The reason it's easier to find when turned on is that the tissue swells with blood during arousal, making it more prominent and more responsive. The infamous come-hither finger motion - curved fingers pressing upward toward the front wall - is the standard technique for a reason: it works. 

A G-spot vibrator with a curved tip removes the hand-cramp element and allows for sustained pressure without effort. Some people find G-spot stimulation produces the urge to urinate; this is normal and is simply because of the G-spot's proximity to the urethra - and usually passes once the body adjusts to the sensation. Take it slow.

Emptying your bladder before you start removes the anxiety around it. Combining G-spot stimulation with clitoral stimulation simultaneously produces what's commonly called a blended orgasm. For many people, this is the most intense orgasm available to them. Click here to hear Dr. Tara (@luvbites.co) discuss the blended orgasm.

A dual-stimulation toy - rabbit vibrators being the most well-known format, with an internal arm for the G-spot and an external one for the clitoris - does the work of both at once. Rampant rabbits were a worldwide sensation in the late 90s - and this dual-sensation sex toy is still a sex shop best-seller in 2026.

Most people with a penis settle on a technique in adolescence and refine it very little from there. The basic grip-and-stroke works, clearly, but it leaves a lot unexplored. It can also, sometimes, lead to bad habits - most often due to grip, lack of lubrication, and speed.

The frenulum is THE HOT SPOT. This is the small, ridged band of tissue on the underside of the penis where the glans meets the shaft (AKA. the back of the bellend). This is the most sensitive area and is frequently underused, which I find disappointing. Focused attention here, with lighter pressure and slower strokes than usual, produces a meaningfully different sensation to standard technique. It's tingly, orgasmic, and toe-curlingly delicious if done with grace and patience. Varying grip pressure, using the non-dominant hand, and introducing lube all change the quality of sensation considerably. 

When you're more comfortable with your frenulum... get yourself a vibrator - for it. I'm sure this doesn't sound right - but hear me out. Introducing a vibrator to apply direct and targeted pleasure on this hot spot can be mind-blowingly powerful and deliver a whole new way to orgasm. This is also a great way to train your penis out of toxic wanking routines - that can lead to DE (delayed ejaculation) and ED (erectile dysfunction).

Lube in particular is transformative - it reduces friction in a way that allows for a wider range of pressure and speed, and makes the entire experience feel substantially different from a dry session. Don't write off lube as something that you don't need - just because you're feeling lazy or don't want to clean up after - as it can totally revitalise your masturbation experience. Experiment with different types: water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, and hybrid. You'll find YOUR perfect fit - and this can REALLY change the game. 

Masturbators and strokers - textured sleeves designed for penis stimulation. These lifelike (and sometimes fantasy) inspired sex toys are expertly designed and crafted to replicate the sensation of penetration and deepthroat - delivering a consistency and texture that hands alone can't achieve. A quality masturbator or stroker is one of the most useful additions to a solo sex kit. They can also be introduced to partnered play, with ease. There are SO many types to choose from: lifelike, vaginal, anal, oral, fantasy, vibrating... the list goes on. Click here to browse. 

Edging is the art of tease, patience, sensuality and orgasmic bliss: bringing yourself to the edge of orgasm repeatedly before allowing climax. Edging extends sessions significantly and tends to produce considerably more intense orgasms. It takes practice and perfection - and only gets better with time - specifically the practice of reading your own body accurately enough to back off at the right moment.

This is my favourite topic - so let me break down the delicious and delightful world of Prostate Massage for you. I appreciate that P-Spot stimulation, and the mysterious 'prostate orgasm' can be confusing (even intimidating for some) - so let me simplify the basics of the prostate for you.

The prostate, commonly known as 'the male G-spot', is a walnut-sized gland located approximately seven to nine centimetres inside the anus, toward the front of the body (think of a gentle 'C' shape - hence the shape of most prostate sex toys). It is directly accessible via anal stimulation and produces, for most people who've tried it, an orgasm that is qualitatively different from anything achievable through penile stimulation alone. The prostate orgasm is described as 'explosive' - beginning internally and then exploding through the penis.

Prostate massage has nothing to do with your sexuality - it's not a gay, bisexual, pansexual, or straight thing. It's a pleasure thing. It's all about the anatomy and your beautiful body's internal hot-spots. Life is short, so if you are curious, try it! Just do it the right way, with the right products.

Prostate massage is regularly paired with perineum stimulation, and for many people, it is also the natural entry point into P-spot play. The perineum, commonly nicknamed the 'gooch', is the area of skin between the balls and the anus. External stimulation on this deliciously sensitive area provides indirect prostate pressure without penetration, and is a useful starting point for anyone curious but not yet ready for internal play. You will notice that many prostate massaging toys have perineum stimulators - this is to give all-encompassing stimulation during prostate play time. 

For internal stimulation, a curved prostate massager is the perfect beginner's tool. These have been expertly designed to reach the gland at the correct angle, typically with a base for safe use and sometimes with vibration (and rotation). Prostate massagers come in various sizes, shapes, and with a selection of girths - and I recommend beginning with something slim. Prostate massage is more about targeted pleasure than it is about girth or depth. 

You don't NEED a prostate sex toy, however (although they are very, very fun). Fingers work too. You can do the 'come-hither' motion, which is insertion into the anus, and then curling your finger(s) around, pressing toward the front of the body. 

With 'fingering' the prostate, there are a few things to take into account:

• Lube is ESSENTIAL. Lots of lube. We recommend a thicker lube, like a Hybrid Lube, as this helps create a 'pillow' of lubrication and comfort around the fingers. Reapply regularly and generously.
• Trimming nails and smoothing off rough skin. This helps make the experience more comfortable. You can also put a condom over your fingers or use a latex or latex-allergy sensitive glove. 
• Considering cleanliness. Are you worried about fingers getting messy? You can use an Anal Douche to clean out the entrance of the anus for maximum comfort.  

Slow down. Most people masturbate faster than they need to. This, alongside slowing down the experience, can help you develop sexual dysfunction. Slower strokes with attention to the full range of sensation - not just the build to orgasm - produce more varied and frequently more intense experiences than a fast, functional approach. 

Set the scene. You would with a partner. The same applies alone. A locked door, a comfortable position, the right ambient temperature, something that turns you on - the body responds to context. A session treated with the same attention as any other pleasurable activity will feel correspondingly different from a rushed three minutes between tasks. 

Add a toy. Whatever your body, there is a toy designed to do something your hands cannot. Masturbation Month exists partly as an argument for exploration. Use it as one. 

Add lube. Even if you think your natural moisture, spit, or normal routine works... just give lube a try. There is a reason that lube sells so well, universally, and to those with all different types of wants and needs. It's a wonderful accessory for pleasure that reduces friction and enhances sensation. 

What is Masturbation May?

Masturbation May is an annual awareness month dedicated to destigmatizing solo sex and promoting sexual wellness. It was established in 1995 to honor Dr. Joycelyn Elders, following her advocacy for comprehensive sexual health education.

Do you need some advice? Want some questions answered? Want to understand some differences and comparisons between sex toys? Want to know what lube is compatible with?

If you want to explore a new type of masturbation, are unsure where to start, or what to start with, then feel free to reach out to us for advice. No question is silly, and please don't be shy. We are literally here to help you - and it's all real humans - no AI or chatbots. 

You can DM us on Instagram @Uberkinky, or you can email us discreetly using info@uberkinky.com